Sunday, Sept. 24, 2006
Can You and I Be Friends?
Is it just me or does this TJ Bearytales seem very similar to Teddy Ruxpin? Man, I wanted a Teddy so badly when I was younger. I thought it was so cool how Teddy would read the books with you. Ah, the things our parents deny us.
This week, I returned to my Tuesday-Saturday work week. But it feels odd, because this is the first year that I haven't worked a second job during the summer and I have actually had real days off. Who knew I would enjoy not doing anything, just chilling on my couch. Before, that used to make feel crazy, you know, idle hands and all. But now, bring 'em on and give me a book to read!
There's nothing much going on with me right now. I'm still looking for another job; keeping my eyes open for other positions out there. My boss has said that she's going to give me a 10% raise, but she's a liar so I won't hold my breath. In the mean time, I'll keep sending out my resume when an interesting job pops up.
I'm also trying to figure out things with Gus. It was him I had the good sex with last week. We've been talking for the past couple months and have hung out a couple times in group settings. Last week, he called me up and invited me out. It was just the two of us, and we sat at a bar and just talked and talked, for about 2-3 hours. Then we went back to my house and sat on the couch and talked some more. Then the kissing started; that's when we knew we were in trouble. Incredible trouble! For the next hour. Afterwards, we cuddled and talked some more.
It's so weird how easily I can talk to him, about anything. Everyone who knows me knows I am the queen of the one word answers. It's partly because I don't trust most people enough to open up to them. Even people who I've known for a while. There's always something that makes me feel uncomfortbale. But not with him. I tell him almost everything, even some things that I would normally feel silly saying outloud to others. Anyway, so we talked and laughed until about 2:30 in the morning and then said our goodbyes.
He called me again later on in the week just to see how I was doing.
It's all so weird. I know I really like him, and I know he really likes me. But everytime we start getting really serious, he pulls away. And then we basically start all over again. It's happened twice. I think a big part of it is that he's 5 years older and all his friends are married with kids (well, babies). Part of him thinks he should be at that point, and the other part of him thinks he should stay a "partier". And I think he gets scared when he pulls to far in either direction. And it just makes me all confused. Hopefully we'll get everything all figured out. I don't worry about it too much because I don't feel like I'm in a rush to get into anything too serious, although, I'm willing to if I was asked.
So I guess we'll all have to wait and see how it all plays out.
In other news: V. Mars starts in two weeks! I can't wait.
summerroll at 11:41 p.m.