Sunday, Jan. 23, 2005
Why do they ALWAYS pick the crazy bitches?
Last night I didn't really sleep too well. Actually I didn't sleep at all. My brain was just too busy thinking about Gus.
Gus is one of the mentors from the summer program at my job. I've known him since last year through another coworker, Kristina. He's Colombian, he's 27, and he's a biology teacher. He's very funny, has a great personality, and a good sense of humor. Everyone loves him. Gus is very good looking, but I'd never really looked at him that way, and I guess he'd never looked at me that way either.
During the summer, all the coworkers from my job would go out to M@nty's for Happy Hour. The first night we did this, I ended up drinking a lot, and then Gus and I decided to hang out afterwards because everyone else was "tired" and wanted to go home.
That night, it was just the two of us hanging out. We were talking all night, and we got along really well, and we were just having fun together. At some point, while dancing, we just started kissing. I don't know who kissed who first, but we were making out. Then we left the club and made out outside. Then we went to another bar and started making out there. Then we went back to my place and we really started going at it.
Well after that, we started seeing each other secretly because I was technically his boss (even though he's way older than me). We saw each other the entire summer and we just clicked.
We were perfect for each other: same sense of humor, interested in the same things, we were both science geeks, we had incredible sex. All in all, he just made me feel like no other guy had. Our relationship felt real because he was interested in doing other things with me besides just having sex. Which describes all my previous relationships.
So where things went wrong, I really couldn't tell you. After the summer job, he went back to teaching high school. We continued to talk to each other on the phone and see each other occasionally because we lived 20 minutes apart and had completely different work scehdules. All I know is that in October, I called him 3 times and he never called me back, which made me think that something was up.
Come to find out, he started dating this girl in October. It really hurt my feelings because we were friends before we were anything else and the least he could have done was called me and told me that it was over or something. Plus, it really pisses me off that he basically chose this girl over me because she is psycho! Everyone who knows her knows she's crazy. She's one of those girls that will follow her boyfriend around to make sure he's not seeing anyone else, won't let her boyfriend have female friends, will go through her boyfriend's phone, etc. And he chose her over me!?!
The whole thing just sent me down in the dumps. I really don't even know if they're still together. He called me in early December and a couple weeks ago just to talk, which I don't think he would have done if she still had her claws in him. And he never brought her up, so I didn't either. What I really want to do is ask him why he chose her, because I find that guys always complain about crazy/psychotic girls, but those are the ones they always seem to end up with anyway.
So last night, I was thinking about Gus, and thinking about the time we had together. I know that were were perfect together. Not just as a couple, but as friends, because we were so comfortable with each other. And I know he knows it too. He even told me that I was one of the only girls that his best friends actually liked (because I wasn't crazy). Anyway, I'll wait to see what happens. I've already told myself that I'm not going to call him, that I'm gonna wait for him to call me. I'm so tired of always putting myself out there to just get rejected. It his turn now.
summerroll at 12:16 p.m.