Sunday, Jul. 03, 2005
Keep Idiots Away From Open Flames
I remembered last night that a year ago yesterday was the first time Gus and I kissed. I was both happy and sad to realize this, but I'm not going to get into that again. It's makes me too upset.
Someone made a comment to me yesterday that they hate 4th of July in Miami because no one in Miami celebrates it. So, I asked why would she expect people in Miami to celebrate American Independence when most of them are not Americans. She said she never even thought about it that way.
I like 4th of July food, but I'm not really into celebrating it either. And I am American. It bothers me that our forefathers basically committed treason to get what they wanted and then turned around and made sure with their new laws that no one could do the same to them. Hypocritic much.
I also tend not to like seeing all the dumb people with firecrackers. It's like their brains short-circuit (more than usual) when firecrackers are thrown in the mix.
A couple years ago, at a 4th of July party, my old roommate, Brown, and a couple of his buddies decided that it would be a great idea to shoot bottle rockets out of their asses. This one particular guy, T, decided he would be the guinea pig. T pulled down his pants and had one of the other guys place the rocket in between his cheeks and light it. But T got scared every single time and his cheeks clenched together, preventing the bottle rocket from taking off as it it should. Instead, his ass got burned several times.
So after a drinking a couple more beers and discussing the mechanics of how they could get this to work (suprisingly, they are all working engineers), they finally figured it out. Earlier that day, we had these shots that came in test tubes. They decided that the course of action they would take would be to insert the test tube in between the ass cheeks and then place the bottle rocket in the test tube. If T clenched his ass, it would clench the tube and not the rocket, and the rocket would still be free to launch. Solution found. And by gawd, it worked. These drunk assholes were shooting bottle rockets out of their asses distances up to about 10-15 feet. It was quite entertaining.
With that said, I hope everyone has a great Independence Day.
summerroll at 9:14 a.m.