Tuesday, Apr. 19, 2005
Trophy Wives
I had a pretty uneventful weekend.
M0nty�s was NOT the M0nty�s to end all M0nty�s like they claimed it would be. I had two and half cups of beer, then got so bored, that I decided to go home and drink wine on my couch. And that pissed me off, because I ended up paying $3 to park when I live 4 blocks away.
Saturday, we had our beach clean up, which was pretty successful. And by successful, I mean that our kids weren�t complaining or bitching and were actually picking up trash. It was kind of refreshing. After that, we went to a park and grilled hotdogs and hamburgers (I ate 3 dogs and 2 hamburgers; they were soooo good, I just couldn�t stop eating) and played volleyball. I suck at volleyball, but apparently not as much as my coworker, Nande, who dove for a ball and not only missed it, but ended up spraining her knee in the process. All while the kids called her Old Lady and told her not to worry about her knee since it was probably just arthritis. I must admit that they made me laugh with that one. Nande�s only 24. They started calling me old too, when I would miss a hit. Little bastards.
After work, I was so exhausted. I went home, showered, and called Gus to find out what he was up to. I got his voice mail and told him to call me back. Ten minutes later, I was dead to the world.
I didn�t wake up until 1:30, and luckily I was able to fall back asleep until 6 the next morning. Then, I was wide-awake and completely bored. So I decided to get up and drive around the rich, fancy neighborhood that�s about 5 blocks from me to look at all the huge houses and expensive cars. On my way back home, I was privileged enough to see a woman sitting on the side walk puking up a neon yellow substance. This was probably the most interesting thing I�d seen all weekend, but it was really gross.
I think Ginger might be in heat. When do kittens first go in to heat? I�ll have to look that up. She�s been acting super strange lately, like meowing all the time. Even more strange is that she she�ll lay down and stick her tail straight up in the air to expose her ass. And she�s not really lying down, more of crouching. Okay, her front half is lying down, and her bottom half is crouching. I don�t know if I�m describing this right, but she�s basically sticking her ass and her vagina out for the whole world to look at. Crazy cat.
I almost burned off my left eye yesterday. Or at least that�s what it felt like. I was leaning over to blow out a candle. I guess I wasn�t paying attention, as I tend not to do, and my eye leaned right into the path of the heat waves coming off of the flame. It was not pleasant. When I examined my eye, it was fine; I thought I would have a few singed eyelashes, but everything was fine. I think my eye was in shock for a bit, though.
Yesterday, I decided to go to one of the classes at my gym. Inferno Abs and Buns. I�m so undisciplined when doing abs that I figured I should just go to the class and push myself. Of course, there are all these trophy wives at my gym who attend all these classes. Most of the classes offered are between 9 and 1; the only people that can attend those are people with no jobs. Hence, the trophy wives. I walk in and feel so out of place, but I�m young and I�m in good shape, so I should have no problems in this class.
Man, those 30-40-something-year old trophy wives kicked my ass. Five minutes into it, I was dying for some water. And that was just the warm�up. When we actually got into the abs section, my abs were burning so bad that I could only do about 25 reps while everyone else did close to 40. I felt so ashamed. To make it worse, my quads and ass hurt so bad that I could hardly walk down the stairs after the class. They�re still killing me right now. I am pathetic. But, I did enjoy the class and the instructor and I�ll probably go every Monday until the summer, when I switch back to a Monday-Friday schedule. My dream is to one day have a stomach as flat as one of those trophy wives (minus the plastic surgery/tummy tucks).
summerroll at 4:05 p.m.