Monday, Aug. 01, 2005
Tried to Save Myself but Myself Keeps Slipping Away
First day of August. Basically the first day of the new year. I will always see years in terms of the school year, especially now that my work schedule is intimately tied with it.
Some of my kids get to start school today, while the rest of them start next Monday. All thanks to Jeb Bush and his stupid FCAT shit. So the schools that recieved a grade below a D all have a longer year. It's rather convienient that all the schools that make bad grades are in the poor neighborhoods, while the ones that score high grades are where all the rich people live. And guess which schools get more money to help with education? Not the ones that need it.
Luckyily, we were able to get most of our kids into B schools. They have to travel 1.5-2hours by bus to get there, but they know that it's worth it. The ones who we couldn't move will just have to suck it up and do the best they can with teachers who continue to pass them on even though most are still on a 5th grade reading and math level, and counselors who tell tham that they shouldn't even bother trying because they're gonna end up just like everyone else in their family. Some adults need to be shot.
I had a really bad dream last night. What's worse is that I didn't even realize I was dreaming.
For the pasrt week, I've been letting my kitty, Ginger, into my bedroom. I usually make her sleep in the living room because she likes to destroy things in my room, such as headphones, extension cords, etc., and she scratches the bed, and knocks things over, and tries to jump up onto the bed where she is not allowed (she sheds way too much and ever since I saw "Cat's Eye" when I was about 5 or 6 the idea of waking up with a cat on my chest has always freaked me out). But since I've been working so much and I've been out of town frequently in the last couple of weeks, I've let her in right before I fall asleep so that I can spend more time with her.
Anyway, she always waits for me to fall asleep before she starts doing all the bad things she's not supposed to be doing (sneaky bitch). So I usually wake up when she knoacks something down or jumps on the bed, and then I have to kick her out for the rest of the night.
On to the dream: I'm sleeping and I feel Ginger jump onto the bed. Or at least I initally think it's her. It's pitch black and I can't see anything. I roll over, and try to push her off the bed, except she's not there. Then I feel my hands being pinned down. When that happens, I feel something else junp in the bed on the other side of me, and that, was Ginger. Then I realize that someone is in my room, on my bed holding my hands down. I feel the person's breath on me and then I feel them kissing my hands and moving u my arms. Needless to say I start freaking out, but for some reason, I can't scream or say anything. This all feels very real to me, I have no clue that I'm actually still asleep. Finally something in my head says open your eyes, and I shoot straight up in the bed and realize it was just a dream.
My heart rate was super fast,a nd I had to cathc my breath. the reason it freaked me out so much is because a couple days ago, I found something in my back patio area. I live in a duplex-type house (I say duplex-type because it's four units and I don't know what the word is when you have more than 2). If you can visualize, the front and back of the house is perpendicular to the street. So it's flanked on both sides by the houses next door to us. There are four back patios, all separated by a wooden gate. The first gate separates Unit 1's back patio from the street. I live in the 2nd Unit.
If anyone has the intention to get to my area, they have to climb over the first gate on the street, and then climb over the second one. That's what happened a couple of months after I moved in when someone did just that, found my sliding glass door open, came in, and went through my bedroom and stole my laptop. That freaked me the fuck out.
Well. a couple days ago, I looked outside to my patio to see how badly it needed cleaning. There's this huge ass tree back there that does nothing but shed leaves year round. And after the hurricane, there's a shit load of leaves and branches and what not back there that need to be picked up. I see on the floor a couple of feet from the sliding glass door a plastic bag. I'm curious as to what it is because I know that I didn't leave it out there, and I was pretty sure that our maintenance guy, who had cleaned up the patio a couple days before the hurricane hit (usefull, I know), hadn't left anything out there. I go out to investigate and find that inside the bag are 2 empty 40 oz beer cans in paper bags. Then, I look up at my sliding glass door and notice that although the blinds are cracked a tiny bit open (I do that [or rather I did that] because the air from my a/c hits the blinds when they are closed all the way and they crash into each other all night), I could see perfectly well inside the room. And all I had to do to see the bed was take a couple steps to the left.
This means that someone has been in my back yard trying to take a peak at me in bed and enjoying a couple of beers as they do so. Eeeeewwwwww! My skin started to crawl. So now, the blinds are pulled tightly and I'm para noid everytime I go to sleep. And that dream didnt help matters any.
summerroll at 9:37 a.m.