Friday, Dec. 09, 2005
I always manage to get myself into situations like this!
Piddly Diddly picked the band I wanted. Woohoo! I was almost shitting my pants when I thought he wasn�t going to call Aundrea�s name. The girl is the best singer/performer they�ve had in the past 2 seasons, and I would have been a shame if they left her out. But they didn�t. I�m not really big on the whole pop/hip-hop/R&B thing, but I think I�ll like anything this group puts out.
If only top model had listened to my choice as well. That Nicole girl is so white bread. Yeah, she takes great pictures, but I can�t see her as a spokes model for anything besides toothpaste.
Enough about reality TV and on to my life.
Can someone explain to me why I have a pimple on my ear lobe? I�m already fighting the battle between zits and my face. I don�t need them popping up elsewhere. And what�s worse is that I can�t even get rid of it. It�s one of those annoying, red, under the skin ones that you have to wait for to come to the surface. And because it�s on my ear lobe, I can feel both sides of it, and it feels like there�s a tiny, little ball in there. A tiny, hard, pus-ball. Okay, I grossed myself out with that one. I apologize.
I have a dilemma that�s not pimple related.
Plain and simple, one of my guy friends likes me. Like likes likes me. I didn�t just find this out; I�ve known for a while, but I just never bring it up.
This guy, B, used to be the tech guy here at the Museum until he quit and got himself a better paying job (like a 20 thousand dollars more a year � but this is besides the point; just goes to show how much more you can make when you work in computers). We would chat often because we were 2 of the 5 youngest employees here, everyone else being 35 or older.
We ended up becoming friends outside of work because one Friday night, he locked his keys in his car at an ATM about 3 blocks from my house, and he new I lived somewhere nearby. He called, asked if he could come over to use the phonebook and we ended up hanging out and ordered a pizza while the locksmith took an hour to show up.
Everything was fine, up until a couple months later, when he slipped this comment, �you looked really good that night�, randomly into a conversation we were having on AIM. And I was just like, �huh?� He said, or rather typed, it again, clarifying that he was talking about the night we waited for the locksmith. Then he continued our previous conversation like he had never mentioned anything. From that point on I just knew.
He says things like that every so often, but never to my face. It would always be over the phone or while we were chatting online. Plus, he was always trying to invite himself over to my place, �hang out� and such.
But I would keep my distance, mainly because I don�t like having guy friends who are interested in me. It freaks me out. If you�re my friend, guy or girl, just be my friend. Don�t try to come on to me. It makes things awkward. And then I have to wonder if I did something to give them the impression that I was interested in something more.
I hate when people misinterpret kindness and friendliness for other things. Just because I say hi and smile at you as I pass by does not mean that I want to fuck you.
And that�s the inherit problem with some guys. Not all, just some. They misread things all the time. The way I am with my friends, if I consider you a friend, then I�m very open and warm and trusting. I don�t mind sitting really close to you, because as my friend, I�d expect you to know that it didn�t mean anything. This crosses over to when I go out/party. If you are a really close friend, I don�t worry about getting too drunk (which I don�t do very often), because I know that you would take care of me, if you had to, and not take advantage in any way, like stealing from me or worse. With other people, I know to keep my guard up. I�m already not a very trusting person, so the last thing I need is a sneak attack.
So back to B. I hadn�t been hearing from him as frequently as I used to. Part of it was the new job and part of it was the he had a girlfriend. That got me off the hook. Whenever I saw him online, I would make an effort to at least say hi and ask how he was doing. Just being a friend.
Well apparently he broke up with girlfriend. I noticed that a couple weeks ago, he started IMing me more frequently and he even called me a couple times. And again, he kept trying to invite himself over, this time the excuse being that he hadn�t seen my new place yet. Then, again out of the blue, he asked me if I was sexually active. And I was just like what. the. fuck! Then he said he just wanted to know because he. at one point, had wanted that from me, and that he needed some sexual healing. Then he added the �j/k� at the end; you know, what people do when they really mean something, but don�t want the person they�re saying it to to take it the wrong way or think that they are really serious when they really are. I told him he should talk to his girlfriend about that, which was when I found that she wasn�t his girlfriend anymore.
After that time, he kept dropping hints that he was interested and would continue trying to invite himself over or get me to go to some function/party with him and if he would say something too bold he would add that fucking �j/k� to the end. But I see through that shit.
Bottom line: I�m just not attracted to him in the least. He was placed in the friend category where he will remain unless he gets kicked into the NOT!friend one. Plus, I hate guys who don�t have the balls to say what they really feel but instead try to mask it, just like I don�t like guys who don�t have the balls to ask a girl out themselves, instead asking their friends to �hook them up�. Grow a pair dude.
The problem arose last night. For the past couple weeks, every time he�s tried to invite himself over or invite me out, I�ve either said flat out no, or given some excuse like I was tired, or sick, or had other plans. All of which had been true at least once. Last night, he IMed me during MTB3, which I was totally engrossed with. His message simply said, �I�m coming over tomorrow night to watch a movie.� Because I wasn�t paying attention (thanks a bunch Diddly Doo), I just replied back, �oh ok� and went back to watching my show, thinking he had written that he was going to the movies. When the next commercial break came on, I realized my mistake. He had done a sneak attack! A covert operation! Shit! I had been infiltrated.
What was done, was done. He is coming over tonight. Then, he kept asking me if he should bring liquor along with the movies. I told him no, but what? Why would liquor be needed??????? And one movie turned into two. Fuck!
I just know deep down that he�s gonna try something tonight. I know it. And it�s exactly what I don�t want to happen.
So for the rest of the night and all day today, I�ve been wondering what I should do. Should I cancel last minute or should I just go through with it and fend him off if any advances are made?
Like I said, I like him as a friend. He�s a really cool guy, as a friend. I don�t want anything from him except to be friends. Did I mention that we are only friends?
And I�m worried that if what I think is going to go down goes down tonight, he will become a NOT!friend.
Advice would be greatly appreciated!
summerroll at 1:29 p.m.