Monday, Nov. 20, 2006
Confession is good for the soul, right?
I have a confession. I haven't told anyone, not a soul. And it's killing me because I have no one to talk about it.
Two weeks ago, I had sex with my best friend, Al.
It just kind of happened. Well, 6 hours of drinking helped things along.
It was Al's birthday. There were a group of us out celebrating and he was beyond drunk after imbibing birthday shot after birthday shot. He doesn't even remember the 3 hours before we got dropped back off at his place.
Well in those 3 hours, he was coming on to me and kissing me, and doing all sorts of drunk boy stuff. And since I wasn't drunk, I was paying much attention to it at all, and just laughed it all off.
And then I had a shot of Southern Comfort and lime at 5:00 am, and I was done. I wasn't drunk, but but I was in a place where I had a really nice buzz going good enough that I couldn't drive home.
We got back to Al's place, where me, him, and another of his friends sat and talked for a bit. Thrity minutes later, the fire alarm in the building goes off. Al and I go to drunkenly investigate and try to save people's lives. After about 20 minutes, the alarm goes off. We return to his place where his friend somehow managed to pass out on the couch through all the comotion.
Al and I start talking about something. What it was escapes me now. He hugs me and then kisses me. I pull away as he asks, "what did you start?" I tell him I didn't start anything and he kisses me again. This time I kiss back.
I'm not one for kissing. I enjoy it when the person knows how to kiss really well. Otherwise, I'd rather not.
But what a kiss! And I think that's what sucked me in. I hadn't had a kiss like that in a very long time and it felt so damn good.
Next thing I now, I'm being carried into the bedroom. And my clothes are being peeled off. And I'm peeling off his clothes. And at no time do I want to stop. And we don't.
We have amazing sex for the next 2 hours.
The next morning, we talk about it and agree that we're both fine with it. Then a couple days later, he sends me a lenghty bulleted email about all his thoughts on the issue, ending with how he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me as a friend over this. I shared the same sentiment.
So explain to me why things were so awkward between us this weekend, which was the first time we've seen each other since then?
And what's worse is that I have no one to talk to about this because he's the one I usually talk to about everything.
I hate my life right now.
summerroll at 9:10 p.m.